Last week, Woman’s Hour had a discussion about ‘what
feminism means today’. Some of the callers’ opinions reflected the fact that it’s
a word loaded with meaning, and a term that seems to make some people, men and
women alike, enormously squeamish. I know several women whom I’d absolutely
paint with the ‘feminist’ brush, despite their clamours to the contrary – all
of which leads me to believe that feminism could do with a rebrand.
Because my form of feminism isn’t about not shaving my legs;
it’s not about not wearing a bra (gods above, not); or about going make-up free.
It’s not about being a part of an angry, militant clique who tell people
they’re doing feminism wrong. It’s not about hating men, because I don’t: I
love the men in my life –they’re awesome. And it’s absolutely not about wanting
to be ‘better’ than them – whatever that means.
It’s about being paid the same salary for doing my job as a
male colleague in the equivalent role.
It’s about having women in public life I can look up to –
without their being publicly patronised for their clothes or for leaving early to pick up the kids.
It’s about being able to go to a bank to talk about my
mortgage without being looked at askance for not having a husband or father
there with me.
It’s about more films passing the Bechdel test, and treating us as three-dimensional figures in society.
It’s about more films passing the Bechdel test, and treating us as three-dimensional figures in society.
It’s about being taken seriously by male clients when I talk
to them about media strategy. It’s about not having them make lewd comments about
“horse-women’s thighs”, or refer to their ex-wife as “The Bitch” in
meetings.
It’s about being able to read The Economist without being given funny glances on the tube.
It’s about not having topless women on the pages of national
newspapers.
It’s about having the freedom to stay at home and look after
the children – if I want to. It’s about having a job to come back to if I
don’t.
It’s about sticking on a pair of high heels and a lot of
eyeliner when I’m going out, and not being raped “because I was drunk and
dressed like I was asking for it.”
It’s about my daughters being not just able, but unafraid
and proud, to study maths, computing, physics.
It’s about being able to get home safely at night, even if
I’m on my own.
It’s about journalists focussing on what a woman’s saying,
not what she’s wearing.
[EDITED, morning of 13 March] It’s about the BBC choosing not to focus on the “problem” of false rape claims, when the overwhelming conclusion of a report from the CPS is that these claims are few and far between.
[EDITED, morning of 13 March] It’s about the BBC choosing not to focus on the “problem” of false rape claims, when the overwhelming conclusion of a report from the CPS is that these claims are few and far between.
It’s about women around the world being given the same
access to education as men. It’s about them being allowed to drive cars, being
able to make their own choices about whether or not they have children, and not
having parts of their genitalia customarily sliced off.
It’s about being able to do what men do. And that, pretty
much, is it. And I can’t for the life of me see how that can be seen as
scary. By anyone.
12 comments:
Just read that link about what happened to the woman on the tube.
Feel sick.
Also, concur with the above.
The reason I don't call myself a feminist (even though I completely agree with your aspirations) is because, as with any organisation or belief, it's always the extremists who are the most vocal.
If all people see or understand of feminism is the bra-burning, armpit-hair-weaving, men-hating firebrands portrayed by the media, then that's what they'll believe feminism is.
Personally, I like to be feminist in my own quiet way. Quietly crusading for equality for everyone. And I think I'm happy with that.
PDEWYMO: Just vile, no? Truly, truly awful.
Nutty: But what I'd counter to that is that if more "normal", bra-wearing, men-loving types amongst us identify vocally as feminist, then the perception of the media and others will change, doing us all an enormous favour.
I wanted to write a similar post but wasn't sure where to start. You've pretty much summed it up for me x
You may be right, Blonde. I guess I'm more of a sheep, less a leader when it comes to this though.
(as a side note, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with the bra-bruning etc type of feminism. It's just not for me.)
Ren: Glad to see I'm not alone! x
NC: No, nothing wrong at all - and that militant variety isn't for me either. I think we just have different labels for shared attitudes.
*applause*
I think my definition of feminism is the same as yours. I am proud to call myself a feminist and I think the association with bra-burning militants is generally just done to undermine us.
Yep, 100 per cent. Believing in equality = being a feminist in my mind.
Also, that BBC thing from this morning: I was half asleep as it was only about 7.30 or so, so I rather thought I might be dreaming it. It did seem like a very odd thing to say and I was glad that Jimmy Savile was cited as an example of what naming a suspect can do - ie, give victims the confidence to come forward. Then again, if a man I cared for was falsely accused of rape I would want him to be anonymous, knowing that the merest link with it would ruin his career, his life and more regardless of the verdict.
I recently wrote a post myself about how I don't really understand feminism and have instead made my own understanding of the term and I must say I agree with the above. It is so refreshing to hear a clear and agreeable term for feminism with a clear rational set of values. Great post! Thank you. Xxx
*Applauds*
I have had many discussions with my husband about this, and he thinks that people (particularly men) take this antagonistic attitude towards the term feminism because they don't perceive it as advocating equality. They somehow think that it's women wanting to 'get one up' on men. Which is of course completely false, but it makes me wonder whether feminists would be heard more if we approached it from a different angle - from one that actively campaigned for equality for both men and women. Because while women do get the rough end of the deal far more than men, a lot of stereotypical perceptions and sexist comments come from an attitude that assigns men a particular gender role as well. When we can even out paternity and maternity leaves, when custody isn't automatically skewed in favour of the mother, when it's perceived as okay and normal for a man to be a house husband (speaking as the daughter of a father who was a house husband for many years - and my dad *was* somehow thought of by our neighbours as being less of a 'man', despite the fact that he's all kinds of awesome) - THAT'S when I suspect we'll start to see a shift in the right directions and more gender balance. It feels wrong, because essentially it's sort of mollifying those misogynists who claim that we're 'feminazis' out to take over the world, but it might actually get us somewhere...
(apologies for long post - will completely understand is TL;DR)
Hear, hear. Bravo, Blonde.
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