It all started after one of those discussions with The Redhead (the ones where she says something, and I think she’s being a bit daft, but think about it a bit more and then go and do it anyway. Like the time she suggested I meet one of her friends for a drink).
Clearly having as busy a Sunday morning as I was (listening to The Archers in my dressing gown as The Writer, er, wrote, actually), she pondered the following on Twitter:
Twitter, is there any weight to the theory that horse shampoo can make human hair grow faster? A friend is insistent but I'm dubious.
Now, I’m a natural (albeit enhanced) blonde. The result of which is that I’ve spent many years and more cash than I care to remember on all manner of hair products: intensive conditioners; colour-care shampoos; ketchup (a low moment in my haircare career, just after the “Hahah! Your hair’s gone green” incident on holiday, 2002). But never have I heard of using equine shampoo for one’s tresses.
But, with Red’s friend so adamant, there was only one thing to do: text the pony-owning Best Mate.
Debate of the morning, I said. Does horse shampoo do wondrous things for human hair?
Don’t know, she replied, but it does amazing things for horses. I wouldn’t use Pantene on the horse, although lots of people here seem to use own-brand apple-scented, human shampoo…
With incredible timing, she was actually mid-bath for her own horse, and a few minutes later, she’d got the rest of the yard involved.
Consensus here is that we’ve never tried it, but on the basis that it has to be less astringent, it probably is quite good. You could order it online. Try Eqyss from Horse Health, but don’t use it on coloured hair.
“No! Definitely not!” TW said when I mentioned the discussion to him. “I don’t want you smelling like Black Beauty.”
“Other people do it,” I said, sounding for all the world like a small child.
“I don’t care,” he said, as we made our way out of the door for an early lunch. “I warn you now: if you do it, I’ll call you Pegasus from here on in.”
But despite TW’s threats, the idea bizarrely started to take hold. I did a quick Google, and found to my surprise that it’s something that lots of people have contemplated (not that that makes it okay, I know. People on the internet contemplate all kinds of stuff that is completely inadvisable).
But then came another tweet from another source which suggested it’s not just the internet crazies who have given the project a go.
And so, when it came to a quick bank account check at lunchtime yesterday to find that I’d been paid, it seemed a worthwhile endeavour to chuck a tenner at a theory if it might result in my having longer, lustrous, er, show-condition locks.
I have just procured, I emailed Best Mate (once I was done sending her pictures of a mocked-up ad for MasterCard featuring Tyrion Lannister), a bottle of each of Mane’n’Tail’s finest shampoo and conditioner.
Oh Lord, she emailed back. Of course you have. I suppose it’s probably worth mentioning at this point that I’ve never heard of Mane’n’Tail?
Delivery is expected at the end of the week. Whether I turn out show-pony or Thelwell pony remains to be seen.
Kitchen Table, Fitzrovia
9 hours ago