Thursday, 24 November 2011

In which I am a little too free and easy with my kisses

Can you let the Americans know they don’t need to join the call later? my boss texted from his meeting one lunchtime this week.

Will do, I replied. And then, in my slightly absent-minded state, focussed as I was on a document in front of me, I went and added that ubiquitous graphical representation of a kiss: x

“I, er, I didn’t mean to be quite so affectionate in that text,” I apologised, when the boss got back to the office.

“No worries,” he said. “I just assumed you were being extra-nice.”


Texting is one of those things that’s so easy and quick to do that it’s become second nature (unless you’re Pa Blonde, in which case you’ve only just relinquished the habit of sending text messages in which each letter i s s e p a r a t e d b y a s i n g l e s p a c e).

But, by the same token, the ease of sending a text means that it’s equally easy to send one that’s entirely in error. The embarrassment of superfluous and inappropriate textual kisses, I’ve found, is really quite acute. It starts in the toes and creeps up through the body until there’s a distinct heat burning around one’s ears.

“Urgh,” the thought goes. “I can’t believe I did that… Oh GOD, what if he doesn’t think it was a mistake…?!” &c, driving oneself into a little pit of spiralling discomfiture.

Twitter was quick to empathise and assure me that a quick pictorial peck definitely wasn’t as bad as it could have been with stories of other people’s textual woe…

Yes, signing off a text to the new boss, who you've yet to start working for, with kisses. Been there. Mortified...

I sent a text to boss's boss meant for friend, starting "hello petal" and ending with "big kiss". Eeep.

Sent a potential landlord an all caps text meant for my boyfriend saying 'IN YOUR FACE - BATMAN DID KILL SOMEONE ONCE'.

I once texted a friend telling her the TOP SECRET info that another friend was pregnant.... Then sent it to the preggo friend* instead. *not friend anymore.

It could be worse... you could have sent your boss a text meant for your boyfriend by mistake [I could have done. Thankfully I didn’t. Because I’m sure the content of some of those probably constitutes a sacking offence. Gulp.]

Of course, these scenarios can be easily avoided if you take a wee moment to check, double check, and then check again that you’re definitely sending the right message to the right person. But there’s little you can do to guard against other people’s inaccuracies…

When the boss sends you a saucy text meant for his mistress, whose name is directly after yours in his address book…

Ouch. Still, worth having in the back pocket come review time, I imagine?


Vulpine said...

This made me laugh in sympathetic embarrassment.
I never thought getting x at the end of a text meant anything other than a way of signing off – as a sort of polite peck on the cheek, or infusing a message with a sort of Gallic cool. Just looked through this week’s messages and I have received several x’s at the end of texts, so seems to be normal. Also got one “lots of cuddles xxx” from a former colleague (does she fancy me?!)

Gorilla Bananas said...

I had a comment to make about gratuitous text-kissing, but am too distracted to make it. Who the hell did Batman kill? If you're not talking about the original TV series with Adam West I'm not interested, it doesn't count.

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