Thursday, 23 December 2010

In which I consider what I've learnt this year

It’s traditional at this time of year to take a look back at the past 12 months and ponder the wisdom that the year’s imparted.

In some shape or form, I seem to have spent most of 2010 on a date. So whilst I can’t say that the year’s taught me too much that’s been particularly useful, I can at least say that I’ve learnt the following about dallying and dating…

- If he mentions the ex on your first date, run. It doesn’t matter how dreamy those big, blue eyes, his heart’s elsewhere. Leave now before yours gets squished. (Seriously - run. It took me three dalliances before I realised that a mention of the ex on a first date would soon be followed by an “I’m not over her, sorry” phone call. Learn from my mistakes, people.)

- It’s not just other people’s exes who can turn things upside down when you least expect it. One’s own can do the job rather well too.

- If you get too drunk when handing your number over to boys, you’ll have no idea who they are when they call. Or when your friends email you photographs of likely contenders. You’ll hate yourself slightly. You’ll hate your hangover more.

- Being alone is always better than being in the wrong relationship. Some people won’t understand this. Bugger those people.

- Don’t be fooled by charisma. It’s not the be-all and end-all.

- I used to believe there was nothing worse than a mediocre date. There is: a bad date.

- Being kissed by one’s client makes for an awkward evening.

- It matters not how much you hate a thing: hypocrisy is an easy trait to acquire. Especially in the matter of snogging in public like a teenager.

- Attraction isn’t a matter of choice.

- Being chatted up via the medium of porn isn’t an experience I wish to repeat.

- Prior dalliances are wont to be grumpy when you tell them about current dalliances. Even if you’ve never dallied in an official capacity. Go figure.

- I like my men to drink whisky, eat steak and generally be men. Shortlist agreed with me. Hurrah.

- There are things men need to know about dating a younger model.

- Having a boy bring milk and cookies to the office when you’re having a bad day will cause gossip.

- Being dumped by text message isn’t cool.

- Dating the uppermost of the upper classes has its ups and downs. And mustard corduroy.

- I thought certain things were deal breakers. Then I thought some more and reconsidered.

- Dirty text messages are great. But only when they’re properly spelled.

- Jewellery on boys isn’t something I approve of.

- Not having sex can be as hot as having it. (Yup - this one surprised me too.)

- It doesn’t matter how well things are going: you can wake up one day and be less appealing than an accountancy exam.

- I located all the aspects of the perfect first date and the irresistible man. Who knows - 2011 might be the year to track ‘em down…

10 comments:

HC said...

That's a pretty choc-a-block year and yet only 365 days... Never underestimate the importance of a diary apparently.

2010 was baby, job and house for me. I should get my own blog.

And see, I made no mention of sex.

Blonde said...

HC: A baby, a job and a house? Huh. Hope you've got something big up your sleeve for 2011, as that's going to take some topping. (Congrats on all those, by the way - sounds like an amazing year.)

HC said...

Congrats right back at you, I see you've landed a new job as well. Oh and since I'm feeling festive, thanks for providing some great reads over the year. I guess that makes me a long-termer.

Amy said...

I only just found this blog but just from this first post, I am in love with it. Will be following from now on.

Blonde said...

HC: Ta. On all counts. And yep - I think 'stalwart' is probably the term. Will try and mess things up nice and consistently next year too, y'know, for some material.

Amy: Welcome! Lovely to have you. Pull up a chair and get involved in the insanity.

Zstep said...

I find myself mildly disturbed that I didn't need to click any of those links to know exactly what each tidbit was about.

Oh dear...I must be a blog stalker.

Kirsten said...

All best wishes for this holiday season and beyond! What's this about a new job? :)

pinkjellybaby said...

All I learnt this year is just not to bother.

Redbookish said...

Wishing you all the best for 2011, from one blonde to another. Keep up the sparkling blog -- it's a delight!

Brennig said...

Oh buggerit. I don't drink whisky or eat steak. *Sob*

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