Friday, 10 December 2010

In which I am less appealing than accountancy exams

The ending of a dalliance – especially one that had been travelling in a rather promising direction – is never a delightful experience.

The conversation itself is about as pleasurable as root canal.

You miss the little things you incorporated into your routine that are no longer there – the daily text message at 7.30am, wishing you a good day; the person on the other side of the bed when you wake up on a Monday morning.
Detritus of life left littered around the house is no longer just stuff on the coffee table, but something that gives you a nudge of guilt because you really should send it back, but don’t really want to (because, ahem, you’ve not got round to watching all the DVDs yet).

There’s the faint embarrassment of other people when you’re at a party on a Saturday night and they ask how the boyfriend is, only to be met with your reply that he’s no longer in the picture.

None of which is ideal, but none of which is as disagreeable as having to own up to The Mother.

Things had been going uncharacteristically well with The Northerner. I still had niggles about his jewellery and pro-death penalty approach to life, but he’d displayed no lingering emotional attachment to any of his exes and didn’t seem averse to becoming a frequent fixture at Blonde Towers, to the point that Colin was quite happy to curl up and sleep on top of TN’s head in the middle of the night. Unprecedented behaviour in a male of the species in Quite Some Time.

And then the cracks began to appear. Or rather, one crack appeared, repeatedly.

“I’m really sorry – I’m going to be stuck here for hours yet. Can we do another night instead?”

“Sorry, I can’t do Saturday – I’m going to be in the office all weekend.”

“Do you mind if I do a bit of work when I come over? I’ll just shut myself in the study and get on with it. It won’t take me very long.”

And the cracking:

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make your birthday – I’ll be in the middle of exam revision.”

As women go, I’m not particularly high-maintenance. I don’t make outrageous demands; I’m not prone to throwing strops; and I’ve even been known to send boys to the pub to watch the football whilst I cook late Sunday lunch. But what I do ask is that someone has the time to see me. Which, ultimately, TN didn’t. It’s fair enough – if someone considers work and accountancy exam revision to be a better use of their time than getting laid, then that’s their lookout (although I won’t pretend I’m not just slightly offended by the notion).

But I do wish it didn’t mean that I’m faced with the unenviable prospect of telling The Mother that yet another dalliance has fallen by the wayside and that her eldest daughter is still unwed at the ripe old age of twentysomething. That I’ll have to face the sighs; the horrible sense not of anger, just disappointment; and her quite obvious fear that I might never find a nice man and Just Settle Down.

Maybe I’ll just not mention it.

18 comments:

HC said...

Sorry to read this Blonderoo, I don't supppose there was any point in persisting until after the exams? Work slows down over Xmas anyway doesn't it? Are your Mother's fears your own?

Three questions should be enough for the time being.

The Pedant said...

That's a bit of a bummer.

nuttycow said...

But, let's face it, can you really see yourself married to an accountant who wears jewellery? Well quite.

Onward and upward Ms Blonde.

(and I've since learnt to ignore The Mother's (mine, not yours) sighs and "everyone's getting married" speech. Sod it!)

Redbookish said...

Oh Blonde, I'm so, so sorry.

I started reading your blog (and some others) as a way to distract myself from a slightly similar situation (altho' we hadn't quite got to 'dalliance'), and a bruised if not broken heart. I am mistress of the "I'm so busy" excuse, and I'm a nascent workaholic, so when someone starts saying 'deadlines' to me, I usually assume that's not really what they mean. If I want to see someone, I make the time, exams or no.

What is it with blokes these days?

HC said...

We're knobs

Mike said...

Truly sorry to hear it, Blonde...although the sooner you find out something like that the better off you are in the long run.

Two observations. First, of course you'll tell your Mom. She's your Mom. Secondly, you are wrong to be "slightly" offended by his prefering exam revisions to being with you. You should be seriously offended. Hell, I am.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Love, if you haven't heard this term by now, then let me introduce you to it:

"Sod what your mother thinks, love"

Strange that you mention it's accountancy getting in the way. The Boyfriend's best mate (already employed by a big accountancy firm) just finished with a girl the day before an important exam, which he is currently cutting out his entire social life in order to revise for. He made it out to ONE, strictly ONE pint with us the other night because he had revision the next day. We were 2 minutes from his house. Accountancy turns otherwise fun young men sensible.

Point is, don't take it personally. This time, its utterly feasible that it really is him and his career, not you. Not an altogether bad thing to invest in, these days.

Dream in Grey said...

Boo! Stupid Northerner for choosing exams over Blonde

Definitely tell your Mother - the more you reinforce it's your life the less she will sigh and roll her eyes

Brennig said...

I take great delight in doing everything my mother told me not to do. But accountants, exams are their life. They've never ever finished taking exams.

Kirsten said...

Your mother sounds like Mrs Bennett in Pride and Prejudice!

Kirsten said...

Yay! The comment published! Hurrah!

Ahem, anyway, sorry it didn't work out. But you deserve someone who takes your breath away who's a jolly nice chap as well. If you're only twenty-something then you can still be a bit demanding. If there were niggles to begin with, then they probably wouldn't have gone away.

jman said...

While I can understand wanting to cut back on social time because of pending exams and even wanting to spend some of the time with you swatting (the stress would probably not make him pleasant company to a certain extent), the not being able to make your birthday soiree is going too far. I don't know how pending these exams are but surely he could have spent a few hours celebrating how the wonderfulness of you all began. Sometimes one loses perspective as the black hole of self absorption swallows one - maybe this will enable him to gain some and you be the winner.

As for your mother - if she even mentions anything other than tea and sympathy, time to tell her you're not telling her this to elicit her advice or her commentary and if she has any she should tell it to someone who wishes to hear it.

theperpetualspiral said...

Blonde, I'm sorry. For him not to be able to spare you even a few hours for your birthday is poor form indeed.

His loss in the long run though.

Bingebob Technothesp said...

Awful excuse to miss a birthday. Sounds like a wanker. Hope you're doing ok.

B

normanmonkey said...

I knew an accountant once. That was enough.

theperpetualspiral said...

In my experience all accountants are quite boring, and ultimately rather expensive when you get their bill.

Anonymous said...

I've been known to give up watching Scotland in exchange for the slight chance of shagging a Blonde.

We both lost......

Rockabilly Hippie said...

What a waste of your twenties to spend it married! Give it a bit, wait til your thirties love. Your twenties are for discovering yourself, growing up, NOT growing up, and living it up. I was really bummed to hear that your relationship didn't work, but I agree with many other comments, better to know now. I send all my good vibes your way and a Happy (belated) Birthday. You will meet the right one when it's the right time.

Much Love!
Rockabilly Hippie
twitter.com/gypsyheather

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