Wednesday, 28 July 2010

In which I get quite cross at one man's utter crassness

By and large, I’m quite a chilled out kinda gal. I’m fairly easy-going; I don’t see the point in being highly strung; and it takes quite a lot for another person to make me genuinely angry (other than poor spelling and grammar, but that’s a given).

But this week, the accolade of Making Blonde Grumpy falls squarely, and with a thud, at the feet of Andrew Cohen, a writer for Politics Daily. And I’m not the only one: yesterday afternoon, Cohen seemed to have a good percentage of the population of Twitter spitting bile at their screens.

His crime? A simple column. A shortish piece positioned as a toast to a lost love.

The catch? The title: On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid.

That’s right: for almost 1,500 words, Cohen waxes lyrical about a woman he’s not with; a woman who’s with someone else and celebrating one of the most memorable days of her lives. And, whilst some might - and, bizarrely, do judging by the comments - think that his is a tribute to a loved one on a special day, I’m afraid I’m rather more cynical about his motives.

If he does indeed mean well, and simply wishes to ponder the virtues of a past lover on a poignant day, then all well and good, but dear Gods - there are ways of going about these things. And passively-aggressively isn’t one of them.

Because the piece is essentially Cohen’s way, whether he’s aware of it or not, of seeking revenge; of telling his ex that she's made a terrible mistake. Any of us who has been crushingly in love, only for it not to have worked, has fantasised about the object of one’s desire realising their mistake, come running back. But most of us keep that fantasy to ourselves and sit on it privately until we man up and it passes.

What we don’t do is shout out into the echoing recesses of the internet that it should have been us - the digital equivalent of Mr Briggs’ announcement that “the marriage can’t go on”.

We don’t, under the guise of gushing happiness, list the reasons why our past lover should be with us; list how we’ve changed all the things about us that were used as reasons not to be together; drop in details that serve to remind how we knew them intimately.

Of course, maybe I’m doing Cohen a disservice. Maybe he genuinely meant the piece as a tribute to a woman he’s still very fond of; maybe he’s just happened to deliver it in such as way as so have a British audience, with rather a lower tolerance than our transatlantic counterparts for saccharine bollocks, hurling into their web browsers.

But, sadly, that doesn’t escape the fact that, even if his accolade was done with the best of intentions, it was still the most deeply selfish, self-obsessed load of wank I’ve read since Piers Morgan released his diaries. After all, it’s HER WEDDING DAY, you FOOL: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

And so, whether he’s manipulative, and passive-aggressive, or merely self-obsessed to the point of idiocy, I can't tell. What I do know, though, is that some things really are better left unsaid.

9 comments:

Chômage said...

You read Piers Morgan's diaries? Are you a masochist?

But yes indeed, this chap is a prime oik. And so, for that matter, is his editor.

Cher Ping said...

What can I say? Some men happen to need more help than others when it comes to learning about what to leave well alone. ( Others are lucky enough to have it slapped into them. :P )

Blonde said...

Chomage: Yes. And yes. But more an idiot.

Cher Ping: But one would hope that even those men have enough people around them that they don't publish their passive-aggressive thoughts on a hugely well-read politics site...

The Pedant said...

Yes, yes, yes. It was toe-curlingly, buttock-clenchingly awful. It would have been better and more honest if he'd just jumped up and down waving his arms shouting "Me! Me! Me! Look at me!". I can't decide whether it's better for him to genuinely lack insight or to be deliberately manipulative, but either way you can't help feeling she made a good decision when she got rid of him.

jman said...

So what makes you toe curlingly angry is something written by someone you don't know about someone you don't know and which has zero impact on anyone's world beyond perhaps their immediate one? Is there something else going on that has, to use your phrase, been left unsaid?

Blonde said...

TP: Exactly. In fact, that sums it up better than the post. Ahem.

Jman: What makes me angry is his utterly crass behaviour. I don’t understand what you’re implying the alternative is.

notanarchitect said...

Mostly I wonder how a Legal Analyst has the remit to write such nonsense.

soupemes said...

You'll probably like this reply :)

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/07/26/how-not-to-congratulate-your-ex-on-her-wedding-day/

Blonde said...

NaA: Well, quite. You'd hope they have better things to do.

Soupy: Awesome. I do indeed like that reply.

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