Monday, 1 March 2010

In which I make a confession

When the phone went at 6.30am following my first date with Sports Nut, there was pretty much only one person I wanted it to be. And, to my delighted surprise, it was. Battling our respective hangovers, text messages were exchanged for most of the morning, until we got into our offices and exchanged emails instead.

It progressed in much the same vein over the next 48 hours until, with after-work messages suggesting we were both in the same vicinity, I called him. Being within five minutes’ of each other, a decision was made not to wait until the following week for date number two (already scheduled), and to hit the pub then and there.

“Urgh – I didn’t think this through,” he said, as we sat down with drinks. “But I may as well just admit it, because you’ll have noticed anyway: yes, I am wearing the same jumper as I was on Tuesday.”

I smiled, and breathed a sigh of relief – the scruffy shirt/jumper combo I was rocking was definitely not a sanctioned date outfit either.

For an impromptu date, it was great. In fact, for any date, it was great. Really great. We covered a whole raft of stuff that we hadn’t got round to on date one (parents and families; what we want out of life; how amazing CJ from the West Wing is). And after a couple of drinks, with Sports Nut’s hands wrapped round mine, I felt something that I’ve not felt in a very long time: utterly petrified by the fact that I really quite liked him.

The fear was so strong that I did something I’d rarely do: I told him.

“It’s not something I really do,” I explained, as he brushed his thumb over the back of my hand. “Just... falling for people like this.”

I thought back to Minor Celeb: despite being together for nine months, at no point did I even countenance the fact that we were in a relationship. Emotional distance – whether a good thing or not – is something I’ve learnt to cultivate rather successfully in most of the dalliances I’ve had. I’m sure there’s a whole world of therapists out there who’d tell me it’s not a healthy way to conduct oneself, but hell: I’m British. I can pull off a little reserve, especially when it comes to matters of protecting the heart.

“I’ve been burnt, and have no intention of letting it happen again. And I’m quite scared that there’s burning potential here.”

He looked at me with steely grey-blue eyes. “Look, I tend to go into these things all or nothing. And I like you too...”

And then, in terribly terrible rom-com fashion, he kissed me. And I didn’t really stand a chance.

14 comments:

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Good work Blonde. (Ha, I nearly typed Bond. The names Blonde. Blonde Blonde. Sorry).

About BLOODY TIME. Now banish all thoughts of previous relationships from your head, and go ravish this boy. You probably already have, but that's all good. Do it again.

That's Not My Age said...

The fear is natural. When I met Mr TNMA, we had both been through difficult relationships so it was scary/exciting, but well worth it. And Sports Nut sounds like a decent bloke. Hooray!

Blonde said...

PDEWYMO: If only I had the dashing to pull off Blonde Bond...! Liking the forthright advice.

TNMA: Good to know that the fear isn't just me...

Emily said...

At least if you're going to fall, you're in it together! I'm thrilled for you. And just a bit envious.

Mike said...

Just enjoy it, Blonde. It doesn't come along all that often. When it does, it's magic. I'm coming up on a year with FabCanadian and it's as big a thrill to see her today and it was the first date.

Huw said...

Woah, a 6.30am post-date call? Either he's a bit keen, or I have unwittingly been a badass with the ladies all these years.

Must stop using words like badass.

theperpetualspiral said...

There is nothing wrong with jumping straight in! Enjoy :)

Blonde said...

Emily: That's a good way of looking at things.

Mike: This is true - it's a shame it's a feeling that doesn't come along too often, but maybe that makes us appreciate it when it does.

Huw: You know, had it been anyone else, I'd have thought so too. But as it was, it just made me smile.


Perp: Isn't there? Not just a little daft...?

Michele said...

"there was pretty much only one person I wanted it to be" ...
so glad you didn't say it was SL

Hope said...

As the Americans say, 'Huzzah!'

You can't really control the future (its either going to be great or its going to be heart crushing). Personally, I've never NOT been hurt because I mentally prepared myself for it.

So, screw that. Enjoy this as much as you can right now!

Fluffy Pink Duck said...

Awwww and as Emily said above, you are falling together. Relax and enjoy, these are the magical times the first few dates.

Blonde said...

Michele: That would be quite special, wouldn't it?!

Hope: Huzzah indeed.

FPD: Am doing my best.

Mike said...

A complete aside, but as an American I feel obligated to point out that I don't know anyone who says "Huzzah." Which, frankly, makes me feel good about my country.

Zstep said...

Agree with Mike completely. The only time I have ever heard the word "Huzzah" used is in period movies involving the English Navy.

Oh and Blonde, good for you. I believe I advised you to take the plunge whenever possible when you get an opportunity some good while back and assuming our Sports loving friend doesn't have something obviously wrong with him (i.e. married, crap in bed, psychotic family, etc) this sounds like a delightful opportunity.

Personally, I have found such attractions to have the highest highs (with some spectacular crashes) but without taking a chance now and then, you'll never get anywhere. High risk, high reward and all that.

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