Monday, 29 March 2010

In which I consider my sins

I’ve thought about it and, you know, I’m okay with sloth, pride and lust (especially lust). To me, that sounds like a pretty bloody decent Saturday. In fact, each of the so-called deadly sins probably has its place somewhere in life. What I’m not okay with, and is definitely worthy of a spot in the First Circle of Hell is mediocrity. It is just Not Acceptable.

I make this claim on good authority following an evening spent in the company of Lawyer (?) from Bar - a man I apparently gave my number to whilst drunk, and then forgot about. And, having spent some time with him, I’m now in a position to say that it’s no great surprise I forgot about him, because he’s eminently forgettable.

I know it might seem churlish to moan like this when the other gals in Social Circle Blonde are having a properly rough time of it on the dating front, but the evening was so mediocre as to make me want to open a vein then and there, just for something to do.

It hadn’t started so badly. He walked in, nice and tall at over 6’ (ah, even when I’m drunk I’ll apparently pick the big ones), in a good suit and decent shirt. He wasn’t as hot as I’d like, but that’s what you get for picking up boys when you’ve got the gin goggles on. He was well-mannered and polite, and not so wet that my friends would eat him alive (which is, I shall admit, an important criterion to be considered when trialling these men). He was sweet; there was no obvious sign of damaging emotional baggage; and he had all his hair. He was genuinely interested in me, what I do, and what I think. There were no distasteful opinions; no crass jokes; no offensive smells. There was no inkling that he might be gay, already attached; criminal or insolvent.

In short, as Mondays go (and because I was Skyplussing Glee), it was fine. There was no spark, and I felt no pressing desire to jump him there and then, but it was fine.

But, boys and girls, I’m not after fine. I’m after so much more than just fine. I’m after amazing. I’m after someone whose clothes I want to rip from their body; who makes me laugh until I hurt; who inspires me to be a better person. Someone who’d be worth spending eternity in the flames for.
Settling for anything else seems like a sin.


Rebecca said...

But, wait, I thought you said that could develop later. Didn't you say that the only ex you were truly in love with didn't make you want to rip his clothes off until after a while? Was there something else he had to start out with that's lacking in this guy? Because tall, sweet and not wet, listens to you and has all his hair doesn't sound like a bad place to start. I'm confused.

But I still wish you the best of luck!

Rage Against The Dying of the Light said...

"(ah, even when I’m drunk I’ll apparently pick the big ones)"

And there goes the mature approach of the last post...that's quite a line!

jman said...

So it sounds like you want a comedian who looks like Brad Pitt and acts like Mahatma Gandhi. Good luck finding him. In the end someone who treats you with kindness and respect and who cherishes you in an unfawning and thoughtful way will go a lot further. Even if he doesn't have all his hair or you have to go to a comedy club to laugh til your sides hurt. Which is not to say any person will do, just that the criteria might be a tad on the romantic (as in Georgette Heyer) side.

nuttycow said...

This man will turn up. Eventually. But at least you now know that lawyer (?) is not this man and you can carry on looking. If you hadn't met him, you might always wonder.

Hamish said...

See ? You NEED us complete bastards........

Zstep said...

Agree that you definitely cannot be bored with a prospective mate. There's nothing worse than an evening spent fantasizing about jabbing a pencil into your eye because at least that sensation would be more interesting than the schmuck your having dinner with.

Keep fightin' lil trooper.

Mike said...

Blonde: Next to last paragraph is exceptionally well said. Love hardly seems like the place to lower the bar.

Blonde said...

Rebecca: I think it *can* develop, but the potential for it to develop needs to be there. This chap didn't even have that.

RATDOTL: You expect nothing less, surely?

Jman: Kindness and respect sound fantastic, but I'm not ready to settle for JUST those things. Possibly too picky, but for the time being, I'm willing to take that risk.

NC: A good way of looking at it. Another one ticked off the list!

Hamish: Hmm. I don't know that 'need' is the right word, but the eejits do have their uses.

Zstep: Exactly! It's one thing not to have incredible immediate chemistry, but it's another entirely if they're inciting one to clock-watch...

Mike: Thank you.

CornerGal said...

Amen. As a gal who is re-introducing herself to the world of dating, couldn't agree with you more. I want more than just fine. I want knock your socks off, can't get enough of each other all the time....not too much to ask for, I would hope

theperpetualspiral said...

I do tend to think that you need some semblance of a spark that first meeting. That there should be something that makes you think,'yes I'd like to see if this is worth a second date.'

'Fine' will never ever do that!

Barry said...

Agree with Rebecca.

The previous post you said you'd "look deeper for those hidden qualities," (or some such. Sounded a bit Grey's Anatomy but I went with it.)

Then this latest one says, "yeh, he was all right. Just not that fit" (basically).

You have to be attracted to something, sure, but are you looking that hard. Or just for the same things you were before?

Emily said...

Sounds like he was almost there. But I agree, chemistry is important. There needs to be some attraction between you both, whether it's physical, emotional or intellectual, to build on.

Blonde said...

CornerGal: We do hope. Fingers crossed...

Barry: I'm happy to look past any outrageous charisma, but there still needs to be something there that I find attractive enough (and not in a physical way) to want to see again. This guy just didn't have it.

TPS and Emily: Nails on head.

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