I’ve thought about it and, you know, I’m okay with sloth, pride and lust (especially lust). To me, that sounds like a pretty bloody decent Saturday. In fact, each of the so-called deadly sins probably has its place somewhere in life. What I’m not okay with, and is definitely worthy of a spot in the First Circle of Hell is mediocrity. It is just Not Acceptable.
I make this claim on good authority following an evening spent in the company of Lawyer (?) from Bar - a man I apparently gave my number to whilst drunk, and then forgot about. And, having spent some time with him, I’m now in a position to say that it’s no great surprise I forgot about him, because he’s eminently forgettable.
I know it might seem churlish to moan like this when the other gals in Social Circle Blonde are having a properly rough time of it on the dating front, but the evening was so mediocre as to make me want to open a vein then and there, just for something to do.
It hadn’t started so badly. He walked in, nice and tall at over 6’ (ah, even when I’m drunk I’ll apparently pick the big ones), in a good suit and decent shirt. He wasn’t as hot as I’d like, but that’s what you get for picking up boys when you’ve got the gin goggles on. He was well-mannered and polite, and not so wet that my friends would eat him alive (which is, I shall admit, an important criterion to be considered when trialling these men). He was sweet; there was no obvious sign of damaging emotional baggage; and he had all his hair. He was genuinely interested in me, what I do, and what I think. There were no distasteful opinions; no crass jokes; no offensive smells. There was no inkling that he might be gay, already attached; criminal or insolvent.
In short, as Mondays go (and because I was Skyplussing Glee), it was fine. There was no spark, and I felt no pressing desire to jump him there and then, but it was fine.
But, boys and girls, I’m not after fine. I’m after so much more than just fine. I’m after amazing. I’m after someone whose clothes I want to rip from their body; who makes me laugh until I hurt; who inspires me to be a better person. Someone who’d be worth spending eternity in the flames for.
Settling for anything else seems like a sin.
Lamb Wrap at F M Mangal, Camberwell
15 hours ago