Tuesday, 19 February 2008

In which I've set a date...

A fourth date is not an event that goes unremarked upon in Social Circle Blonde, due largely to the fact that they’re rather rare beasts (for those keeping score: the last person upon whom the honour was bestowed was the ever-delightful Minor Celebrity. Yes, it’s been a while). It is, of course, entirely in keeping with Blonde logic that I’ve managed to reach date four with a man when there’s a stiletto’s chance in a marathon that the thing has any sort of future.

“Date FOUR? AND you’ve not slept with him yet?! Huh. You do like him…” Curable Romantic’s voice divulged a little more incredulity than I was entirely happy to hear. The verdict from Gay Cousin was worryingly similar: “God, Blonde: that’s practically a long term relationship for you, is it not? I’d better dig out the… well, not that I do hats, but you know…”

Except, they’re wrong. Not inasmuch as it is proving more successful and rather longer-term than recent precedent might suggest, but rather that it’s going anywhere. Because it’s not: this, guys and gals, is expiration dating.

The facts rather speak for themselves: I’m in my final year [and have just completed the disserfuckingtation. Thank buggery. Never has anything elicited more bad language – which is saying something. And I’ve got through two – large – boxes of Earl Grey in ten days. I’m practically pissing bergamot] and, as much as I adore the ‘Burgh, upon graduation, I’ll be moving back down south. The Voice, however, has a business and a mortgage – here. This dalliance has always come with a shelf life.

Which hadn’t bothered me – until the fourth date. I was rather thinking this – like a lot of my other flirtations – would peter out somewhere around the third. But it hasn’t. And there are plans for a fifth. And so, with all this free time I’ve acquired (well, not so much free as Ijustcan’tbearsedtodoanythingproductivewithitsoI’llstayinbedinstead time), I’ve been contemplating the situation.

If there’s an end in sight, then is there any point in doing this? And is it fair to him? A little Facebook stalking recently elicited the information that he’s rather older than I thought he was (and than I am). TV is older to the extent that he’s probably going to be looking to do Marriage and Babies rather sooner than anticipated (especially given the eagerness with which he talks about the teeny, tiny godson). So, am I wasting his time by letting him get into something that’s going to end far before I’m peeing on sticks?

On the other hand, if I don’t date anyone purely because I’m leaving in June, there would be several months of enforced singledom – and I get enough of that without imposing extra on myself. And knowing that the thing has an end-point allows me to have some fun without getting too serious about it. And let’s face it – if a guy isn’t going to join me in profound appreciation of a Hendrick’s and tonic, there’s probably no future in it anyway.

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Lucy said...

Mmmmm date 4 - recently became familiar to moi for the first time in ages also. I say go for it, keep things light and fun, and just be honest with him if he starts muttering anything too serious. As you say - no point enforcing singledom on oneself when there's generally far too much of it about anyway!!

Enjoy ... :-)

Cat said...

I fell for a boy who was in his final year of university when I was in my third. We got together on Hogmanay, drunkenly, and by mid February were in far too deep to keep it casual.

I spent a lot of time worrying and analysing what would happen when he moved away come summertime, but decided - most unlike me - just to roll with it. We were together for a further two years, doing the long distance thing.

(Clearly, it didn't work out in the end, but still...)

And well done with the dissertation, lovely!

Anonymous said...

Why is this the most lame blog I have ever read. You are a poor man's Sex in the City and an absolute self-obsessed whiny child. Grow up and get some real issues.

Blonde said...

Confuddled: That sounds like a v wise plan to me. Here's hoping that he's not as much of a baby man as he appears.

Cat: Huh. Best just to see what happens, then, I suppose! And, thank you - it was a labour. I'd say of love, but there wasn't much of that by the end.

Anon: If you don't like it, don't read it. Grow up and use some common sense.

Boy said...

Ha! Nothing better than a bit of idiotic blogspam.
First things first: Congratulations on the 'sertation!! So glad and releived for you that it's over.

Secondly, don't overthink things (ironic coming from me, I know). The fact the big move in sight isn't an issue, just be open on the topic and you'll be fine I'm sure. It may not even work out. OR it may. But you just can't tell.

Jo said...

Why are nasty comments always anonymous? At least have the balls to say it with a name attached...

Like the others said - just roll with it. Don't think too far ahead, if it works, it works. These things are definitely better left to sort themselves out.

m.l. said...

Congrats on the dissertation - I'm currently working on a Master's thesis and I think it'll be the death of me. I empathize with your dilemma, I am uncertain of my future after the summer - I might be staying at the school I'm at and getting my PhD or I might be going to some other school hundreds of miles away to get the PhD. I hate to start a relationship months before I possibly move, and yet, good guys don't come knocking on my door all too often, so I hate to stay single just to keep things simple. It's a tough one...

London Bachelor said...

peeing on sticks... that took me a while and i'm still not certain i got it but won't embarrass myself.

Del said...

Nice work on the dissertation. And I'm sure the bloke is big enough and ugly enough to worry about a future spouse some other time.

j. said...

One of my male friends is in a similar predicament regarding the dating/end-of-school timeline, and he's just forging ahead with dating a particular girl anyway. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...? Or vice versa, in this case.

Blonde said...

Boy: I'm wildly relieved, I can tell you! And I guess just seeing where it goes is, as usual, the only path to take.

Jo: There is definitely something to be said for an approach that doesn't require too much thinking!

ML: Yikes. My advice re: thesis? Tea, and lots of it. Good luck.

LB: Peeing on sticks: the point at which I'm pregnant. But you knew that. Just testing, right?

Del: Thank you. And I couldn't possibly comment on size or ugliness. Except to say he's tall and not ugly.

J: I think it's the only way to go. Who am I to disagree with the opinions of the blogosphere?!

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